Two middle-aged guys, one childhood dream, and a really big snake. What could go wrong?
Remember when movie reboots actually tried to improve on the original? Well, throw that concept out the window because Anaconda (December 25, 2025) is here to remind us that sometimes, the best way to honor a cheesy ’90s monster movie is to make it even cheesier.
The Meta-Madness
Jack Black and Paul Rudd star as Doug and Griff, lifelong best friends suffering from terminal midlife crisis syndrome. Their brilliant solution? Remake their favorite childhood movie, the Jennifer Lopez/Ice Cube “classic” Anaconda from 1997. Because nothing says “reclaiming your youth” like filming a low-budget snake movie in the Amazon rainforest.
The genius twist? When their trained Anaconda escapes (because of course it does), they’re forced to continue filming guerrilla-style, only to encounter an actual giant snake that’s significantly less cooperative than their Hollywood version.
The Comedy Gold
Director Tom Gormican (co-writing with Kevin Etten) delivers exactly what you’d expect from this premise: Jack Black being chased by a massive serpent with a boar carcass strapped to his back. The trailer alone shows Black screaming “What the hell is on my back?” while Rudd calmly suggests using him as bait—peak best friend energy right there.
“We’re gonna shoot it indie style, one and done,” Rudd declares in the trailer, which roughly translates to “we have no idea what we’re doing but we’re committed to this disaster.”
The Supporting Chaos
Steve Zahn, Thandiwe Newton, Daniela Melchior, and Selton Mello round out the cast of hapless filmmakers-turned-snake-food. The Anaconda itself is basically the seventh main character, and judging by the trailer, it has strong opinions about impromptu film productions disrupting its habitat.
The original 1997 Anaconda grossed $136.9 million worldwide from a modest budget, proving audiences love watching attractive people scream at oversized reptiles. This version banks on nostalgia while delivering the meta-commentary our post-Scream world demands.
Behind the Scenes Insanity
Filming presumably involved significantly more safety protocols than the original (one hopes), though the trailer suggests Black and Rudd fully committed to the physical comedy aspects. The film’s Christmas Day release date positions it as the perfect “family bonding through shared trauma” holiday experience.
Producers Brad Fuller, Andrew Form, Kevin Etten, and Gormican clearly understood the assignment: make a movie about making a movie about a snake, but make it actually entertaining. The Anaconda reboot doesn’t apologize for its ridiculous premise—it doubles down with the confidence of two guys who definitely should have chosen safer midlife crisis outlets.
The Snake Situation
While the original featured practical effects that occasionally looked convincing, this version presumably benefits from modern CGI technology. Whether that makes the Anaconda more or less terrifying remains debatable—sometimes those janky ’90s effects hit different.
The film promises to blend horror, comedy, and meta-commentary into something that either works brilliantly or fails spectacularly. Given Black’s manic energy and Rudd’s deadpan delivery, we’re betting on the former.
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